I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
