I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
