I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
