there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
