the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
