i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
