just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
