drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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