I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
