How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
