I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Randomize
