I heard we made out
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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