I wannas sexs uuuuu
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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