Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
