enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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