I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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