I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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