Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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