i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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