The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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