but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
