so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
This toilet bowl is my home.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
