I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
