I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
