apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
