Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
