Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I skipped work to stalk him.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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