I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i love accidental penises.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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