my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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