And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
