just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
