she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
