Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I puked a lego.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
