Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize