I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
