my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
