dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
