I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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