you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
