at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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