i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
