OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
