Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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