So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
