i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
