actually, I'm a sock model
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
