i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
