Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
