You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sorry my hands just texted you
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
