also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
