i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
