And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
