Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
