can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
