Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
it's like heaven, but drunker
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
