we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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