I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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