I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
