You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish I only lived at night.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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