I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
