idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
God, I missed his penis.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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