I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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