the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
