I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize