Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
